Goals are Personal

Remember this the next time your boss tries to do a performance review. Goals are very personal things. If you share them they won't come true.

Productivity Tip: Focus On The Important Stuff

The next time your boss talks to you, do yourself a favor (and boost your productivity): do not listen. Your boss couldn't possibly say something important enough to waste your valuable time.

Timing Is Everything

I learned a lesson today that might benefit you all. Remember when ridiculing your boss to make sure he has completely finished your performance review. It turns out I was just a little premature and it cost me quite a bit of money.

Though you can't really put a price on mocking your boss can you?

Twitter

Using lifestreaming tools like Twitter can give you a chance to cross the work/life barrier with your boss and become closer to him. Watch for fun things he is doing and then try complementing him on how active he is for a senior citizen.
For example:

"I never thought that my life would seem boring compared to that of a middle age man with kids."

Not Having Enough Fun At Work?

If you're dissatisfied with your current place of employment's culture or environment, here's a tip to make it better. Point out instances of other companies having fun and say something like: "X must be the coolest place in the world to work". If you do this enough, your boss is sure to undertake efforts to make your workplace more entertaining for you.

Christmas Coaching

During the Christmas season people may attempt to give you gifts. This is the time to assert your status in the relationship. Don't just look that gift horse in the mouth, kick it in the nuts! There will be no question who the alpha male of the office is.

Make sure you send me a little thank you check from the raises and promotions that are sure to be yours.

Pet Naming

I just wanted to pass along another way to get ahead that I stumbled upon recently. 

When your boss has a baby, you get a dog (a cat just doesn't cut it for this) and name the dog after his baby. You will win his heart. 

There is a small chance he will kill you though...