Violence

Another way to advance your career is to commit random acts of violence against your boss. I suggest hitting him in the face with a ball while he is working, much as I did today.

The Power of "I Don't Care"

A lot of people will tell you passion will get you far in the work place. I say, don't underestimate the power of "I Don't Care."

The best time to use this is when your boss is enthusiastic about something. It doesn't matter what he is talking about just calmly say, "I don't care" and walk away. An interesting twist on this technique is to stare him down until he averts his gaze, THEN walk away.

Powerful!

Insulting Your Boss

I am going to keep a list here of specific ways you can insult your boss for maximal career advancement.

• Call him a nerd.


• Imply that his children are awful.


• Imply that he is gay because he plays volleyball.


• Imply that his wife is going to kill him and freeze the body.


• When he is in front of his superiors ridicule how he handled a meeting.

Basic Career Management

I want to start with the basics of career management. I will go into more detail later and give examples, but I want you to start with baby steps. Just answer this question:

Have you insulted your boss today?

No? I didn't think so. Most people aren't very good at career mangement. Get up from your keyboard and go insult your boss now.